After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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