so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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