I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
