I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
did you just send me my own nude
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
