the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
