If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
