my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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