He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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