I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
