I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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