the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
