Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
