Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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