I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
