i would punch a child for taco bell
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
