I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
