Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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