I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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