I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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