Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
