We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize