He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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