So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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