I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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