cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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