i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
