Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
