Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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