Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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