i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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