hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
