I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
