We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
