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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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