you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
