it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Screwed.edu
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
