dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
