I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
