I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
