there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i out mim tonsoeep
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