she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
