wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
