Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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