Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
ugly people sure do ruin things
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She's the barista slut.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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