theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
