I don't usually arrange sex via text message
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize