At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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