I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
