On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize