Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
