No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
