cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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