The best revenge is premature balding
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
