so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize