you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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