what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize