im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
