i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
