well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
