My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize