there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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