His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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