Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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