Can i not drive my cunt home
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize